Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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