I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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