Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Randomize
