some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
