she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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