if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Randomize
