hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Your penis caused this!
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
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