Texts From Last Night

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  (607): View more from New York

  So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...

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  (607): So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain... http://tfl.nu/8i34
  Replies (10) Good night (2247) Bad night (575)
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  (818): View more from California

  my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.

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  (818): my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again. http://tfl.nu/vc1t
  Replies (24) Good night (3720) Bad night (610)
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  (858): View more from California

  he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order

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  (858): he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order http://tfl.nu/kgbm
  Replies (2) Good night (665) Bad night (1995)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"

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  (314): he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??" http://tfl.nu/y012
  Replies (125) Good night (1292) Bad night (22560)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?

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  (503): I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number? http://tfl.nu/ltxf
  Replies (55) Good night (3337) Bad night (1081)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.

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  (703): you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still. http://tfl.nu/6jjh
  Replies (23) Good night (5272) Bad night (872)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv

  (1-405): View more from Oklahoma

  we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina

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  (405): just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv (1-405): we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina http://tfl.nu/dapc
  Replies (24) Good night (2441) Bad night (5374)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading

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  (480): I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading http://tfl.nu/eqt2
  Replies (8) Good night (2118) Bad night (837)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket

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  (817): i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket http://tfl.nu/0h42
  Replies (2) Good night (665) Bad night (2174)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.

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  (702): It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B. http://tfl.nu/uw83
  Replies (8) Good night (1201) Bad night (2367)
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  (925): View more from California

  370HSSV 0773H read that upside down

  (1-925): View more from California

  what are you doing with your life

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  (925): 370HSSV 0773H read that upside down (1-925): what are you doing with your life http://tfl.nu/25tc
  Replies (19) Good night (5107) Bad night (1341)
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  (310): View more from California

  What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.

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  (310): What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast. http://tfl.nu/jj68
  Replies (3) Good night (1754) Bad night (596)
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  (518): View more from New York

  I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.

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  (518): I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face. http://tfl.nu/ha5i
  Replies (4) Good night (1010) Bad night (481)
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  (310): View more from California

  My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?

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  (310): My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here? http://tfl.nu/bu6m
  Replies (5) Good night (2339) Bad night (584)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.

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  (613): Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like. http://tfl.nu/gkgz
  Replies (2) Good night (355) Bad night (597)

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