Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(864): View more from South Carolina

The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.

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(864): The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college. http://tfl.nu/rxu2

Replies (21) Good night (2685) Bad night (620)
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(503): View more from Oregon

Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.

(360): View more from Washington

I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.

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(503): Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch. (360): I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina. http://tfl.nu/x3ve

Replies (92) Good night (4686) Bad night (918)
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(816): View more from Missouri

Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina

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(816): Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina http://tfl.nu/2dpv

Replies (92) Good night (27939) Bad night (1014)
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(217): View more from Illinois

he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.

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(217): he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike. http://tfl.nu/fre7

Replies (47) Good night (8829) Bad night (971)
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(831): View more from California

So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...

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(831): So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me... http://tfl.nu/3wpt

Replies (18) Good night (1348) Bad night (6570)
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(310): View more from California

If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is

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(310): If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is http://tfl.nu/w3co

Replies (9) Good night (3845) Bad night (952)
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(734): View more from Michigan

Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...

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(734): Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages... http://tfl.nu/0g83

Replies (14) Good night (4396) Bad night (1518)
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(313): View more from Michigan

he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with

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(313): he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with http://tfl.nu/73j2

Replies (6) Good night (3117) Bad night (903)
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(514): View more from Quebec

So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.

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(514): So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe. http://tfl.nu/whvh

Replies (9) Good night (1890) Bad night (596)
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(651): View more from Minnesota

College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.

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(651): College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars. http://tfl.nu/lcai

Replies (3) Good night (877) Bad night (450)
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(914): View more from New York

We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.

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(914): We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo. http://tfl.nu/ouwj

Replies (25) Good night (4198) Bad night (514)
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(410): View more from Maryland

Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.

(1-410): View more from Maryland

Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.

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(410): Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI. (1-410): Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return. http://tfl.nu/zi1i

Replies (10) Good night (881) Bad night (1898)
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(803): View more from South Carolina

i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo

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(803): i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo http://tfl.nu/7ggy

Replies (1) Good night (369) Bad night (822)
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(831): View more from California

Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.

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(831): Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me. http://tfl.nu/ne9s

Replies (4) Good night (512) Bad night (173)
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(401): View more from Rhode Island

Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.

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(401): Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired. http://tfl.nu/40ai

Replies (2) Good night (387) Bad night (179)

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