Texts From Last Night

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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.

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  (651): A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life. http://tfl.nu/zayp
  Replies (16) Good night (4263) Bad night (643)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Drinking in an igloo changes everything.

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  (412): Drinking in an igloo changes everything. http://tfl.nu/71hs
  Replies (37) Good night (6608) Bad night (624)
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.

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  (781): I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots. http://tfl.nu/2a1b
  Replies (23) Good night (956) Bad night (4065)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed

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  (301): Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed http://tfl.nu/1voz
  Replies (8) Good night (1051) Bad night (4666)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers

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  (484): Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers http://tfl.nu/tvan
  Replies (2) Good night (2207) Bad night (632)
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.

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  (520): He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time. http://tfl.nu/4xv6
  Replies (7) Good night (1821) Bad night (1321)
• Favorite

  (502): View more from Kentucky

  All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.

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  (502): All I need is the Internet and a place to drink. http://tfl.nu/np52
  Replies (1) Good night (1559) Bad night (1020)
• Favorite

  (806): View more from Texas

  No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.

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  (806): No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus. http://tfl.nu/4ptg
  Replies (18) Good night (2966) Bad night (1028)
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  (760): View more from California

  I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.

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  (760): I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired. http://tfl.nu/xk23
  Replies (4) Good night (949) Bad night (434)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-

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  (910): before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_- http://tfl.nu/01p5
  Replies (2) Good night (990) Bad night (409)
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home

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  (920): We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home http://tfl.nu/c2b2
  Replies (3) Good night (733) Bad night (348)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".

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  (210): We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness". http://tfl.nu/kq4n
  Replies (5) Good night (755) Bad night (1225)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.

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  (412): i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass. http://tfl.nu/godv
  Replies (7) Good night (876) Bad night (254)
• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.

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  (801): I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing. http://tfl.nu/eqqj
  Replies (1) Good night (560) Bad night (230)
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.

  (865): View more from Tennessee

  How do you even...

  (770): View more from Georgia

  The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.

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  (770): Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit. (865): How do you even... (770): The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course. http://tfl.nu/umgu
  Replies (6) Good night (913) Bad night (245)

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