you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.