Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(919): View more from North Carolina

Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.

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(919): Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class. http://tfl.nu/qnhj

Replies (15) Good night (932) Bad night (573)
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(678): View more from Georgia

Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.

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(678): Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box. http://tfl.nu/7k9p

Replies (12) Good night (785) Bad night (3467)
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(650): View more from California

in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",

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(650): in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL", http://tfl.nu/9mnv

Replies (24) Good night (2910) Bad night (2332)
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.

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(215): Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating. http://tfl.nu/ef4v

Replies (34) Good night (537) Bad night (4618)
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(419): View more from Ohio

I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes

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(419): I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes http://tfl.nu/4b4j

Replies (16) Good night (7874) Bad night (727)
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(925): View more from California

DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR

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(925): DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR http://tfl.nu/ynfk

Replies (42) Good night (11166) Bad night (1375)
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(740): View more from Ohio

Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level

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(740): Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level http://tfl.nu/3z9c

Replies (24) Good night (1204) Bad night (3422)
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(508): View more from Massachusetts

I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles

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(508): I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles http://tfl.nu/zr9b

Replies (18) Good night (3449) Bad night (659)
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(719): View more from Colorado

Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.

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(719): Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too. http://tfl.nu/z0t0

Replies (14) Good night (2169) Bad night (818)
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(507): View more from Minnesota

The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml

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(507): The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it h http://tfl.nu/rzj1

Replies (6) Good night (538) Bad night (1935)
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(703): View more from Virginia

I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.

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(703): I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you. http://tfl.nu/i8ov

Replies (5) Good night (1377) Bad night (464)
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(281): View more from Texas

I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts

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(281): I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts http://tfl.nu/b2dg

Replies (1) Good night (881) Bad night (731)
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(604): View more from British Columbia

I feel strange, like something is off with my body

(1-604): View more from British Columbia

Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days

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(604): I feel strange, like something is off with my body (1-604): Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days http://tfl.nu/yx6p

Replies (3) Good night (1601) Bad night (503)
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(469): View more from Texas

I'm going through a really dark time right now

(214): View more from Texas

I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up

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(469): I'm going through a really dark time right now (214): I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up http://tfl.nu/zlw3

Replies (5) Good night (590) Bad night (1480)
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(423): View more from Tennessee

I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.

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(423): I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth. http://tfl.nu/tx5e

Replies (3) Good night (282) Bad night (719)

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