Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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