Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
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I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
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No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?