Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
