Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
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I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
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She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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