isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
