My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great