Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
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