Texts From Last Night

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  (301): View more from Maryland

  it's like iHOP with fire

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  (301): it's like iHOP with fire http://tfl.nu/9idi
  Replies (20) Good night (4021) Bad night (821)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.

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  (208): My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done. http://tfl.nu/2aew
  Replies (23) Good night (4222) Bad night (1988)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?

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  (813): Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks? http://tfl.nu/4hfi
  Replies (24) Good night (6514) Bad night (1256)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.

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  (210): I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time. http://tfl.nu/1zig
  Replies (23) Good night (5049) Bad night (1232)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?

  (1-630): View more from Illinois

  Are you high?

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  (630): Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"? (1-630): Are you high? http://tfl.nu/3xxd
  Replies (21) Good night (6719) Bad night (1245)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority

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  (773): Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority http://tfl.nu/nkbz
  Replies (8) Good night (2056) Bad night (926)
• Favorite

  (318): View more from Louisiana

  I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.

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  (318): I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people. http://tfl.nu/5dbr
  Replies (6) Good night (2711) Bad night (965)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.

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  (720): I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up. http://tfl.nu/iuni
  Replies (5) Good night (842) Bad night (1661)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell

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  (702): One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell http://tfl.nu/48fd
  Replies (8) Good night (873) Bad night (497)
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  (707): View more from California

  That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on

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  (707): That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on http://tfl.nu/xdbh
  Replies (1) Good night (1243) Bad night (499)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.

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  (330): I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished. http://tfl.nu/wyym
  Replies (4) Good night (354) Bad night (568)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward

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  (206): His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward http://tfl.nu/5ira
  Replies (7) Good night (608) Bad night (292)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  Then again, he has huge mansions.

  (619): View more from California

  *manboobs.

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  (619): Then again, he has huge mansions. (619): *manboobs. http://tfl.nu/0ptq
  Replies (3) Good night (382) Bad night (673)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.

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  (404): I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it. http://tfl.nu/ptib
  Replies (2) Good night (958) Bad night (268)
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  (989): View more from Michigan

  Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.

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  (989): Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test. http://tfl.nu/uybk
  Replies (4) Good night (331) Bad night (154)

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