bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Those nachos came to me in a dream
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