i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
do herpes really smell.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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