why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Randomize
