You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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