i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
People in love make me want to vomit
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
