Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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