lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
