i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
My pussy is not your playground.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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