apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Randomize
