I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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