Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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