if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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