So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
