i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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