i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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