Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
