Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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