i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
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