He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Randomize
