i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
so much tequila, so little girl.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Randomize
