I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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