After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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