I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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