I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Randomize
