Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
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