So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
