Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
