I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
