I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
