You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
