I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
