i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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