The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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