Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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