you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
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remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
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Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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