So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
