Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
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