i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
