Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
