Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
