I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
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