I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
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