Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize