are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
she pinky promised me she was 18
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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