I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
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