he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
